there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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