I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
The ass gains better be worth it
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