The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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