Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well you can't waste a boner
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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