do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
