i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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