Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
