Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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