one two three fourrrrnication!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
