I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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