This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
