Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
