is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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