I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't turn off my feet"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
