my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
