Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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