3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
