my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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