He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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