birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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