I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
