First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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