i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
