How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm like, not good at living.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
