Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
