i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
