Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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