He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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