you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
