Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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