You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize