I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You're like the curious george of whores
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
