I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i now understand why vodka
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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