well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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