I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
