Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
