so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
they're like a gay fantastic four
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think my moral compass just broke
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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