My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
