you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
