what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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