Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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