How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize