we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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