I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
