You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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