I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize