You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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