Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
