I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
