she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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