3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we have officially lost it.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
