i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
