Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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