He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
