just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
