my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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