Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
