i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just puked most of my soul out..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
