Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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